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A woman lies face down on the floor of a home kitchen. A man steps over her to make himself a grilled cheese sandwich. Then he sits at a kitchen table. He eats half the sandwich then walks over to hold the other half in front of her face. She doesn’t respond. There is a small crash offstage. We hear a small dog barking and the sound of paper tearing.

MAN

(exiting the room)

GYRO!

(The man re-enters holding a stack of mail, some of which is shredded at the edges. He flips through the first few pieces then tosses it on the table without opening any. There is a knock at the door. The man takes a bite of the second half of the grilled cheese then exits the room again. We hear him offstage speaking to the guest.)

VOICE

Afternoon, Mr. Clark. Don’t know if you saw, I gave you the Harrisons’ mail on mistake.

MAN
(offstage)

Hey Victor. No worries (entering with a fresh stack of mail in his hand, yelling over his shoulder), let me just grab it—(he exchanges the Clark’s mail for the Harrison’s mail and exits, but snatches another bite of the sandwich first)

MAN

—Gyro took a bite outta their electric bill.

VOICE

Would he take a bite out of mine? Have a good one.

MAN

Take care, Victor.

(Sound of the door closing. The man re-enters and sits at the table. He begins leafing through the mail. As he does…)

MAN

Just can’t obey. (Beat.) Why should I think it’ll ever stop? (Beat.) You been that way since—

WOMAN

Don’t be mean to gyro.

MAN

He got at the Harrison’s mail, you hear that?

(She doesn’t respond.)

MAN

(unclear whether to her or to himself—we get the sense he speaks to himself often) Gas. What are you, what are you. (He opens it.) 66.71. Cable. America’s Thieves and Thugs. (Beat, then to her) That’s AT&T. Credit card application. Invitation to your niece’s wedding.

WOMAN

Yours too.

MAN

Ours.

WOMAN

That all?

MAN

Yes ma’am. Alright, time to get up.

WOMAN

It’s not 2:00 yet.

MAN

You’re right. It’s 2:37. Victor came late today.

(He walks over to her. She groans. He reaches to pull her up.)

MAN

Let’s go.

Play Around

ANNOUNCER

Welcome, gents and gals and others. Wiggle those bottoms snugly into your seats and saddle up for the ride, because the play is about to begin. Don’t worry—there will be no audience participation in this production. You are safe! For this particular show at least! You can even sleep if you like! Just don’t snore! Now, let’s get started. Introducing… the characters of this here play. Ah, there he is, the one who lives for outcomes.

THE ONE WHO LIVES FOR OUTCOMES

(entering)

I am the one who lives for outcomes.

ANNOUNCER

And here comes the one who has learned grace.

THE ONE WHO HAS LEARNED GRACE

(entering)

I am the one who has learned grace.

ANNOUNCER

Who’s next?

THE ONE WHO SEES IN BLACK AND WHITE

(entering)

I see things in black and white.

ANNOUNCER

Yes, thank you. Hello to you, the one who sees in black and white.

THE ONE WHO SEES IN BLACK AND WHITE

Hello.

ANNOUNCER

And here comes Ms. Navy.

THE ONE WHO SEES NAVY

I see everything in navy.

ANNOUNCER

But never black!

THE ONE WHO SEES NAVY

Never black.

ANNOUNCER

Ah, and the life of every party, the one who is ashamed.

THE ONE WHO IS ASHAMED.

I am ashamed.

ANNOUNCER

Who’s left? The secret. (Beat.) The secret. (Beat.) THE SECRET.

THE SECRET

(stumbling out)

Sorry. Hi.

ANNOUNCER

Introduce yourself please.

THE SECRET

I’m the secret.

ANNOUNCER

Punctuality is a virtue, friends! Remember that. Thank you all! You may now leave the stage.

(All but The Secret leave the stage. The Secret takes a stool in the back and sits quietly.)

ANNOUNCER

Are we ready to begin? (Beat) I can’t hear you! I said, are we ready to begin? (Waits for some sound from the audience) Alright then. Let’s begin!

(The sound of many unintelligible voices blending begins as a murmur then builds into loud white noise as the theater darkens. It stops abruptly. A single match is lit. It goes out. It’s lit again. It goes out. The third time, the match catches on the messy stack of pages being lit and bursts into a flame. Behind it, we see the face of The One Who Is Ashamed watching it glow.)

A Day Away

A woman sits on a sofa, staring into space. Maybe she’s watching TV. Or at least it’s on. There is nothing more.

MAN’S VOICE

(offstage, amplified)

Tomorrow will be better.

It always is tomorrow.

But today her lungs are like beached seals.

(The woman lets out a small cough.)

MAN’S VOICE

Or sandbags

Slumped against the food she hasn’t eaten,

The coffee and cigarettes.

(She reaches for a box of cigarettes and discovers it’s empty. She drops it easily.)

WOMAN’S VOICE

(offstage)

I swallow too much.

MAN’S VOICE

Or sandbags. Today, she is here.

WOMAN’S VOICE

(overlapping)

Today coats her teeth

like pennies or pickles.

Tomorrow has no taste.

Like eternity. Like God.

Tomorrow will come

and bring something. Space.

What a lovely idea.

WOMAN

(to herself)

What a lovely idea.

The Children's Crusade

A video montage of children.

ASIAN KID

This… I believe.

HISPANIC KID

This I believe.

WHITE KID

This I believe.

BLACK KID

I believe the monkey’s in the middle.

_________ KID

I believe in duck, duck goose.

_________ KID

I believe in ring around the rosie.

_________ KID

I believe in putting your whole self in.

_________ KID

And you turn yourself around.

_________ KID

You turn yourself around.

_________ KID

You turn yourself around.

_________ KID

I believe that’s what it’s all about.

_________ KID

About.

_________ KID

About.

VOICEOVER

3 out of 5 children will grow up. Join the campaign. Fight growing up.

KIDS

THIS WE BELIEVE!