Girls Like Boys

DANI (17)

ERIC (17)

AVERY (9)

 

(Dani and Eric are sitting on the floor of Dani’s bedroom. Their schoolbooks are open in a way that's clear they haven’t been studying for a while. Eric's laptop is open.)

DANI

(with attitude)

What are you talking about?

ERIC

I tell myself, I can't hold out forever. I mean, there’s no reason for my fear… I feel so secure when we're together.

DANI

You see pretty secure to me.

ERIC

But with you—you give my life direction.

DANI

Um, okay.

ERIC

You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night.

(singing)

And I'm getting closer than I every thought I miiight…

(Eric presses play on his laptop, and the chorus of Can’t Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon picks up where he has left off. He sings along.)

ERIC

Then I can't fight this feeling anymore!
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for!
It's time to bring this ship into the shore!
And throw away the oars…

(Dani, having come to terms with what is going on after feeling disappointed, then embarrassed, then amused, now joins, belting the song to match his energy.)

BOTH

… forever! ‘Cause I can't fight this feeling any—

(The music stops. Dani’s younger sister Avery has entered, unnoticed or at least, ignored, by Dani and Eric. She stops the music.)

DANI

—more! I’ve for—Avery!

AVERY

I’m sorry to interrupt. I need help picking.

DANI

We don’t have time. We have an AP bio test tomorrow.

ERIC

Picking what?

DANI

She’s a freak.

AVERY

Just help me pick, please? I’m stuck!

DANI

You’re such a freak, freak!

ERIC

PICK WHAT?

DANI

Between her eleven boyfriends.

AVERY

Not eleven.

DANI

Mom told her she had to break up with ten.

AVERY

I took off seven.

ERIC

Who has eleven boyfriends?

DANI

We don’t have time to deal with fourth grade drama. Some of us go to school to learn.

ERIC

How did you get eleven boyfriends?

AVERY

I just like them all.

DANI

Don’t they know the other ones are dating you?

DANI

They don’t date, it’s fourth grade.

AVERY

I just like them.

ERIC

Do they know you like them?

(Avery shrugs. Eric laughs.)

DANI

Don’t encourage her.

AVERY

Please? If I haven’t picked by supper Mom is going to pick for me, she says.

ERIC

Who have you got.

DANI

This better be quick.

AVERY

Ricky Snyder, Simpson Simpson, Daniel Berkowitz and Miguel. I don’t know Miguel’s last name.

ERIC

Simpson Simpson, like that’s his first name and last name?

AVERY

Yeah.

ERIC

Cut.

AVERY

He picks his nose, anyway. But he flicks it on Sadie Parker and she deserves it.

DANI

That’s disgusting.

ERIC

That’s awesome.

DANI

You’re disgusting.

AVERY

Sadie impeded a note from Madison to me—

DANI

Intercepted.

AVERY

The same thing, basically. Anyway—

ERIC

Your nine-year-old sister has a better vocabulary than you.

DANI

Shut up.

AVERY

—Sadie read it out loud. And it said Ricky Snyder has vagina hair so Madison and I lost Sunshine Points even though I didn’t even do anything.

DANI

Disgusting.

ERIC

VAGINA hair?

AVERY

You know, curly.

DANI

Avery McDonald, you should not be talking like that. You are nine.

AVERY

Please. Today’s nine is yesterday’s twelve.

ERIC

Simpson Simpson’s out. Next.

AVERY

Daniel. Oh, how I love Daniel. He’s such an old soul.

ERIC

Is he athletic?

AVERY

Not really.

ERIC

Attractive?

AVERY

Mmm, no.

DANI

There’s more to love than physical attributes, you know.

ERIC

Nah.

AVERY

I can’t cut Daniel. Oh, no, but I can’t cut Miguel!

ERIC

Miguel whose last name you don’t know?

DANI

Exactly.

AVERY

I truly, truly love him. He has seven Z bracelets, makes his own tacos and writes haiku like none I’ve ever seen!

DANI

(impatient)

So keep Daniel.

ERIC

Miguel.

DANI

Whatever.

ERIC

Is he athletic?

AVERY

He’s okay.

ERIC

More than Daniel?

DANI

Life is not a competition!

ERIC

Apparently it is.

AVERY

But if I keep Miguel, what about Ricky Snyder?

DANI

I thought you were different.

ERIC

How?

DANI

I don’t know, nicer than other guys. I thought you were.

ERIC

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

AVERY

Okay, bare facts, Avery, stick with bare. facts. Ricky Snyder. Good penmanship, stretchy shoelaces, doesn’t bite his nails. But… Soggy sandwiches, no crusts—so first grade—lifted my dress in kindergarten, doesn’t inspire me. (pausing the think) Ricky Snyder’s out.

ERIC

So who’s left?

AVERY

Miguel and Daniel.

DANI

Mom isn’t going to let you have two.

AVERY

Maybe I can have two secretly.

ERIC

Awesome.

DANI

What is awesome about that?

AVERY

(standing)

There’s too much sexual tension in here for me to concentrate.

DANI

AVERY!

ERIC

Sexual who? You mean her and me?

DANI

Where did you learn that expression?

AVERY

Please, I’ve known it since pre-school.

(Avery exits. An awkward moment between Eric and Dani passes.)

DANI

She’s so annoying!

ERIC

She’s funny.

DANI

She drives me insane.

ERIC

What was she talking about sexual tension or whatever?

(Dani shrugs.)

DANI

So your turn to quiz. Photosynthesis.

ERIC

We did that already.

DANI

We should do it again.

ERIC

You thought I was telling you I loved you didn’t you? Before.

DANI

No.

ERIC

Yeah you did! You diiiiiiid!

DANI

I didn’t!

(He presses “play” and starts to sing at her.)

ERIC

I’ve forgotten what I’ve started fightin’ for…

(She lurches forward to kiss him. He kisses back.)