Terminated

Practicingparents.com

SUSAN (30s, very pregnant)

DAN (50s, boss)

STEVEN (50s, attorney)

(A conference room. Dan and Steven sit at the table.)

STEVEN

I’m telling you—I don’t think it’s a good idea to say that.

DAN

I understand the need to be cautious because you’re an attorney, Steve, and god bless you for it, but it’s fine if I’m just honest—

STEVEN

It’s not fine—

DAN

I believe in honesty in the workplace.

STEVEN

That’s fine, but there are—

DAN

I will not lie to my employees.

STEVEN

But there are laws—

(There is a soft knock at the door.)

DAN

Come on in.

SUSAN

(entering)

Hi.

DAN

Hi Susan, take a seat.

(Beat.)

How are you?

SUSAN

Fine.

DAN

You know Steve?

SUSAN

Think we’ve—

STEVEN

We’ve met before—hi.

SUSAN

Before—hi.

DAN

Susan, I asked you here today because I have some unfortunate news. I tell you this with heavy, heavy heart. We are, I am so sorry to tell you, going to have to let you go. I’m so sorry.

(Susan is not surprised.)

SUSAN

Why? Or do I even have to ask?

(Steven is very uncomfortable.)

DAN

Up until about… five months ago, you were a great employee. I had no complaints. But in the interim, I’ve noticed that your performance is not… what it used to be…

STEVEN

Dan.

SUSAN

What it used to be.

DAN

Just being honest.

SUSAN

Why don’t you just say it outright.

STEVEN

Dan.

DAN

(to Steven)

Let me handle this, please.

SUSAN

We both know what you’re talking about.

DAN

Alright. It’s—

SUSAN

I knew it.

DAN

I’m sorry.

SUSAN

My nephew gave it to me, okay? It was a gift. And yeah, I’m working on it in meetings, but couldn’t have said something to me first?

DAN

You mean the Rubix Cube?

SUSAN

(imitating him)

“You mean the Rubix cube?”

DAN

It’s not the Rubix cube.

STEVEN

It’s the Rubix cube.

SUSAN

Or maybe you could have asked? “Hey, Susan, why are you bringing your Rubix cube to meetings these days?” I guess that would have been too professional.

DAN

It’s not the Rubix cube, Susan. (beat) Although that has been kind of weird.

SUSAN

IT CALMS ME!

DAN

It’s so much more than that. The late arrivals, the frequent trips to the bathroom—

STEVEN

Dan.

DAN

You couldn’t even help lift the new marketing materials last week—Anna and Fred had to do it while you watched… And sometimes you… well, I’ll just be honest. You smell like vomit.

STEVEN

(to Susan)

But that’s not why you’re being terminated.

DAN

Yes, it is, Steven. Yes. It. Is.

(Steven gives up.)

SUSAN

Sure. Sure it is. Fred told me you had a problem with it, but I was waiting for you to say something to me. To see if you would. I’ve given you years of loyalty, and you fire me because of a toy. This kind of thing should be illegal!

(She starts to exit then turns.)

And by the way, I’m pregnant if you hadn’t noticed. So double thanks!

(She storms out.)

DAN

That went so much worse than I thought.

(Steven is speechless.)