Toby's Parents Paint His Nails

THE FRANKS
KITTY (wife)
TODD (husband)
TOBY (son)

THE WOFFORDS
CHRISTINA (wife)
RICH (husband)
TIMOTHY (son)

(The FRANKS’ home: sleek, modern, with sharp corners and right angles. The WOFFORDS sit on one couch directly facing an identical one on which TODD FRANK sits. Children can be heard playing in the distance.

KITTY enters carrying two glasses, which she hands to RICH and CHRISTINA before perching, socially alert, next to her husband.)

TODD

So that’s a longwinded way of answering both yes and no to your question, Rich, I find it entirely plausible that the—

(Gives  KITTY a meaningful look. She remembers she’s forgotten his drink and exits.)

—westernization of yoga has done a great deal to enhance its sort of, democratic underpinnings, and yet the commercialization of it is sort of, inherently troubling… is the tea to your liking?

CHRISTINA

Very!

RICH

Mmm. Mmhmm.

KITTY

(entering with TODD’S drink)

You don’t like it?

TODD

They love it, dear, have a seat.

KITTY

(to Christina)

I love your blouse.

CHRISTINA

Oh, thank you.

RICH

Thank you for having us over… when I called, I didn’t mean to suggest—

CHRISTINA

He should have invited you to our home.

KITTY

Don’t be silly!

RICH

As I said, we are hoping to talk to you about something that has… come up. With our son. Timothy is…

CHRISTINA

Shh, careful, honey.

KITTY

They’re outside. Aren’t they outside?

RICH

(to Christina)

Go ahead.

CHRISTINA

Lately Timothy has been asking to wear different kinds of clothes.

RICH

Dresses.

CHRISTINA

He wants to wear dresses. And I always say no. But Tuesday, I found him with my finger nail polish. He told me Toby does it.

KITTY

(to TODD)

Does Toby do his toes?

TODD

I don’t think so.

RICH

Well, that was our son’s answer. That your son wears nail color.

(Beat.)

CHRISTINA

We thought you might want to know.

KITTY

Know...

TODD

Thank you but we know. About his fingers. I didn’t know about his toes.

KITTY

Todd and Toby paint their nails together sometimes. It’s kind of… social affirmative action in our family. We don’t want to… force him into gender stereotypes.

                                    (The boys enter, running, TOBY chasing TIMOTHY. TOBY wears a dress.)               

                                    (TIMOTHY is wearing standard little boy clothes.)

KITTY

More tea?

CHRISTINA

No thank you.

TODD

If he expresses interest in a fashion or hobby, we encourage him to pursue that interest.

RICH

Nail color.

KITTY

We understand it’s not an approach most parents take.

CHRISTINA

I see.

RICH

You paint yours, too?

TODD

Not initially. Until he was mocked—

KITTY

One child was—

TODD

—I did it to show him, See! Daddy does it. And Daddy’s cool.

KITTY

“Children” were not making fun. One child. Sylvia Butler’s son, Frankie. Can you imagine, a fifth grader picking on a first grader? Anyway, that was two years ago.

RICH

And you put him in skirts.

KITTY

He has two dresses.

TODD

Maybe once a week.

KITTY

Once a month at most, honey.

TODD

More than that...

KITTY

Do you dress him?

TODD

Anyway, what’s most important to us is that he knows we accept him the way he is. Kitty’s brother—

KITTY

My older brother is gay.

TODD

Her brother didn’t come out until he was twenty-two.

KITTY

After college.

TODD

And not because the family is homophobic. They’re not.

KITTY

My parents are wonderful.

TODD

Crippling implicit pressure, he called it. Subconscious, social guidance. So if Toby wants to wear a skirt? Go for it. Play with Barbies? Sure. Paint his fingers with the brightest, most whorish pink in the bargain bin? Fine.

                                     (The boys run through again, this time with trucks.)

KITTY

You all don’t seem very open to the idea of encouraging Timothy to do the same.

CHRISTINA

Wear girls' clothes? 

KITTY

Explore his interests. 

RICH

I’m not sure how much exploring needs to be done. He seems pretty gay to me.

TODD

Look at it this way. He’s going to be whatever he is eventually.

KITTY

His sexual orientation is not what he is. It’s just part of him.

TODD

Your choice is, make it easier on him, or contribute to the mass societal forces pushing him in the wrong direction and he’ll resent you for the rest of his life.

KITTY

Resent? No. That’s not why we do it. We do it because he prefers dolls to... balls.

                                    (The kids run through, Toby chasing Timothy with a baseball bat.)

CHRISTINA

Well. Thank you for sharing. We appreciate it.
                                    (Beat.)
Don’t we.

RICH

How d’ya know his wearing dresses or using the nail color, or whatever, means he, uh, wants to bone boys.

CHRISTINA

RICHARD!

                                    (Beat.)

TODD

TOBYYYYYY!

KITTY

Don’t get Toby involved in this.

TODD

TOOOBY! 

                                       (TOBY runs in still carrying the baseball bat.)

Say hello to Mr. Rich.

TOBY

Hi.

TODD

That’s how.

                                        (TIMOTHY runs in with Barbie’s head. He presents it to TOBY.)                         

                                        (TOBY bursts into tears.)

TODD

And that.

KITTY

Sweetheart! It’s okay, come here.

                                        (TOBY snatches Barbie’s head from TIMOTHY.)

TODD

Show Mr. Rich your nails.

KITTY

Stop.

TODD

Honey, it’s fine. 

(to TOBY) 

Just show him.

RICH

I don’t need to see—

TODD

You think I don’t know my own son?

RICH

I didn’t say—

TOBY

I don’t want to.

KITTY

That’s okay.

TODD

No need to be embarrassed, son.

KITTY

You boys can go play now.

TIMOTHY

Okay!

KITTY

Want me to put Princess Butterfly’s head back on?

RICH

My god, what is wrong with that child’s hands?

KITTY

Oh!

                                    (TOBY's fingers are raw and red, maybe bleeding in places.)                                                      

What did you do to yourself!

                                    (TOBY whispers something in his mother’s ear.)

TODD

What is it?

KITTY

Why didn’t you let me take it off for you?

TODD

What?

KITTY

He tried to take off the polish.  

TODD

Did someone say something to you?

                                    (TOBY shrugs.)

TODD

Did you tell them your daddy does it?

TOBY

Lula doesn’t like it.

KITTY

Who is Lula?

TIMOTHY

Lula peed herself in the coats in Ms. Fullbright’s class.

TOBY

Shut up!

KITTY

We do not say shut up.

TOBY

I want him to stop talking.

TODD

Who’s Lula?

TIMOTHY

Toby wants to kiss her.

TOBY

Shut up!

TODD

Well. In this family we believe it’s okay to want to kiss anyone you want to kiss.

RICH

Celebrate yourselves a little more! Please.

CHRISTINA

Alright.

RICH

He’s acting like we tell Timothy who to be. Timothy, you can kiss whoever you want. It’s fine with us. Fine with the Franks! Fine with the Woffords.

                          

                                    (TIMOTHY kisses TOBY.)

TOBY

EW!

RICH

That's how you know.

KITTY

Why don’t we call this a day.

CHRISTINA

Yes, I think it’s time to go. 

(to TIMOTHY) 

Let’s get your coat, buddy.

TODD

Watch the roads, they’re slick, still.

RICH

You bet they are.

KITTY

(offering her the nail polish)

Would you like this?

CHRISTINA

No, thank you. Bye Toby.

KITTY

Say bye, Toby.

TOBY

Bye Toby.

                                    (The WOFFORDS exit.)

TOBY

I don't want to wear it anymore.

KITTY
(stroking his hair)

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, angel.

Photo for this post is by J. Frasse, http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=836